Manifesting & Cultivating Authentic Relationships

The paradigm of relationship is undergoing huge transformation, right now. There are many singles (especially single, spiritual women) that finds themselves at a loss as to why they can’t ‘find’ their partner. I would even go so far as to say there is an epidemic of single women at the moment. Men have their own challenge, which I’ll get to in a moment.

For those in relationship, couples are finding the very foundation of their relationships are shifting. Sometimes that quake leads to an upgrade in the relationship, and sometimes it means lovingly -if not heartbreakingly- letting go.

The very definition and dynamic of relationship is changing as we heal our individual and collective shadow, let go of co-dependency and step into sovereignty and inter-dependence, instead. What we’re moving from is ‘you complete me,’ to ‘I am whole as I am.’ We’re moving from filling the void, to wholeness. This restructures and redefines the very nature and foundation of relationship itself.

Relationship Coaching For Singles

I worked for 15 years helping singles manifest their soulmate and getting them prepared for a healthy, authentic relationship. I write that in past tense because I’ve felt a shift in the paradigm of both relationship and manifestation and find myself looking at both through a different lens and angle, now.

The laws of manifestation seem to have changed in recent years. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t work, but many in the field have also noticed a change. So I no longer solely focus on “manifestation.” Really what was always at the root, before manifestation could even begin, was helping individuals cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves first, because if we don’t change our relationship with ourselves to one that is more loving and based in worth, we will continue to attract the same patterns of relationship; the same men and women that are not healthy for us.

The Current Plight Of Women & Men…

As I mentioned above, there is what I would call, ‘an epidemic of spiritual, single women’ out there. I believe part of the reason for this is that these women have taken the time to dig into and heal their shadow. They’re no longer willing to play out their wounding, limiting beliefs and the old identities that came with them. They have stepped into their worth, they have learned to love themselves and they’re no longer ok with the old BS that they used to put up with. The issue is, men haven’t caught up just yet…

Men are doing the work but in hiding. And not all men are doing the work. Some are, without meaning to be disrespectful, still stuck in the archetypal boy and perhaps haven’t found the support or the courage to step into their manhood. But that in and of itself isn’t a black and white process. There has been so much shaming of the masculine and men. ‘Toxic Masculinity’ has been thrown about in all sorts of ways and it’s stripped a man of his confidence and knowing of what he’s even meant to be anymore. Some men have taken the plunge and come through the other side remembering their divine nature. Some have gone into the deep end and not come out, forever stuck in a kind of processing mode that doesn’t allow a woman into that space. Others are downright confused and have no healthy example to look to. But I believe men are trying. They’re trying to reinstate what it means to be a man of integrity, authenticity and valour.

Both women and men have their plight. They, we, have our healing to do. These evolutionary times are a time of healing both our personal and collective wounds. It’s immense, to say the least!

So the process requires compassion and patience. A lot of undoing and unlearning and a lot of growing from the ground up. We’re redefining relationship into a much healthier, more authentic version and that is wonderful, but it means that if we truly want a conscious relationship, we individually have to do the work to step up to the plate. And that’s what I’m here to support you in: to help you become the person you want to be in the relationship you desire to be in.

How Relationship Coaching Prepares You For The Relationship You Desire

What we’ll be working on together is both the foundation and the structure of your being, in relationship to love. What that means is:

What is your relationship to and with yourself? Your worth? Your lovability?
What are you beliefs about Men? Women? Love?
What are your Fears? Insecurities? Wounds?
What are the patterns of behaviour you find yourself repeating in relationship over and over again?

Out of this exploration we find the core of the patterns of your behaviour in relationship, redefine your belief systems and build a healthy, loving, authentic relationship with yourself. From a place where you feel at home within yourself, we look at calling in, magnatising, a relationship towards you. A large part of that is preparing yourself and fine tuning your relationship skills, whether it’s your relationship to your Authentic Self, Emotional Intelligence, Conscious Communication, Intimacy etc. All the tools that will help us keep a relationship healthy, long lasting and authentic.

Relationship Coaching For Couples

Many relationships are currently undergoing great change. Some marriages are breaking apart while others are evolving. This is all because the very paradigm of relationship is changing.

We’re working through our shadow, healing our Inner Child and creating much healthier foundations for relationships that don’t just play out old drama but actually support us in evolving both as individuals and as a couple. We’re moving into the time of truly conscious relationships and that takes time to dismantle the old and patience to rebuild the new. A new kind of relationship that we might not have an example for, but deep down in our hearts we know we long for. A relationship where we feel free, safe, supported, loved, accepted and allowed to be who we authentically are. A relationship that is mutual, harmonious and based in integrity.

It requires us to be honest, vulnerable, authentic, transparent. It asks us to communicate consciously. Be vulnerable in our intimacy which just means cultivating presence and coming from heart. It requires us to be spiritual adults that take self-responsibility and show up with mutual respect vs children that are still playing out old wounds, have unrealistic expectations and haven’t yet matured into their fully embodied Self.

How Relationship Coaching Helps Couples

Different stages of relationship require different kinds of support.

New Couples: If you are in a new relationship, relationship coaching is wonderful to support you in building a strong foundation. We’re habitual creatures, so the patterns of behaviour we find ourselves in from the start, tend to stick for the remainder of the relationship unless we make those behaviours conscious. Part of creating a solid foundation is working on how to communicate consciously, getting to know each other’s triggers, fears, desires, attachment styles, even your enneagram type so that you can better understand what motivates your’s and your partner’s behaviour.

Long-term Couples: Perhaps you’ve fallen into repetitive behaviour, getting caught in the same argument, the same ‘attack/defense’ patterns, you’re communication isn’t working, there’s no intimacy, and/or you feel disconnected from each other. Together we will work on building the bridge back to each other again. Create safe space to share your deeper truths and feelings in a way where you know you won’t feel judged or attacked. Re-cultivate intimacy, both emotionally and physically. Sometimes old relationships need to die and rebirth themselves. It requires an end and a new beginning, in a way, meeting each other again where you presently are in life and falling in love all over again.

Conscious Uncoupling: Sometimes we’ve tried everything and given it all we have but in order to continue to grow as individuals, we have to lovingly let go and say goodbye. Part of a conscious relationship is also knowing how to consciously create closure. For couples that find themselves in this place, we work together to unveil what have been the challenges and the gifts. How you’ve evolved through the relationship, and how to honour the journey so that you can see it as a gift or at the very least a great teacher, rather than a failure. How to find closure, how to heal and eventually, how to move on with kindness, support and authenticity.